As divorcing parents, you and your ex will need to be able to pass the children between you in a calm and collected way. If you let the tensions that likely exist between you spill out during these occasions, it will make things harder for your children and yourselves.
The following tips can help you handle handovers more effectively:
1. Don’t use it for discussions
You may have things you want to say to each other or things you need to discuss. However, you must remember that your children will be there watching and listening. Even if you talk out of their earshot, they will note if there is tension in the air. It is far better to agree on a separate time and place to have co-parental discussions.
2. Stay polite
Yes, your co-parent might be late for the fourth handover running. Yes, they might have forgotten to bring the children’s sports kit yet again. However, they are still your child’s parent and politeness is crucial out of respect for your child.
3. Find easier methods
Maybe you have done a few handovers and they always end in problems or with you feeling frustrated. Consider what alternatives you have. Perhaps, instead of waiting in a cold parking lot for a consistently late co-parent, you could schedule handovers at the local coffee shop so you can pass the time chatting with a friend. Or, if your co-parent tends to be rude or aggressive at handovers, have your parents take your place.
Considering how to handle handovers should be part of your parenting plan. Remember, if things do not work out, because the other party is being difficult, you may be able to return to court to have a judge intervene.