There will be a lot of awkward moments ahead if you have kids and your divorce is not entirely amicable. As the responsible adults in the room, you need to do your best to avoid letting your disagreements affect your children.
Pull out a calendar when you create custody and parenting time arrangements. By going through it, you will realize that some dates have more potential for tension than others. Chief among those is your child’s birthday. Your child deserves to be the focus of attention on this day and does not want to feel caught in the middle of a parental battle.
Here are some options to consider when planning for this special date:
Both attend the same party
If you can get along and make it work, then great. If you have to grit your teeth to do so, it’s probably not a great idea as your child will notice the uneasy air between you and may feel like they are walking on glass.
Split the day in two
How about a birthday breakfast or lunch with one parent and an evening event with the other? This can be a viable option that reduces stress for everyone.
Alternate years
This may be your only option if one of you has moved far away. If you live close by, you could still do this, with the other parent seeing the child the day before or after to give their presents and hugs.
Above all, you want to put your child first, even if that means giving up your scheduled custody day. For example, if your child wants to invite their class to a party, and your ex is way better at that sort of thing, it may be best to cede your turn, so the party turns out well.
Getting legal help to understand such matters will be crucial when creating your custody agreement.
