Divorces can be hard on everyone involved. Even if you and your ex-spouse are reasonable people, you may have conflicts and disputes that come up. As parents, you should want to reduce those conflicts, so that your children can feel more confident in their relationships with you.
Being a better coparent takes work, but you can do it. Here are three tips to help you as you learn to parent alongside your ex.
- Don’t argue, discuss
The first, and arguably best, thing you can do to work together better as coparents is to stop arguing. Instead of fighting over things you disagree about, learn to sit down and talk those issues out. Are you mad that your child was dropped off late? Don’t yell at the other parent. Call them when your child isn’t present and ask if there is something you can do to help them with the schedule. Talk through problems respectfully whenever you can, so that animosity doesn’t spill over into your relationship with your child.
- Be consistent
The next tip is to be consistent yourself. If you’re going to be upset when your child isn’t home on time, don’t make it a habit to send your child to their other parent’s house later than expected. Both you and the other parent need to become consistent so that your child knows what to expect. Being on time, bringing the right items to a drop off or pick up and being transparent about issues before they cause a fight will help you have a more consistent coparenting relationship.
- Consider using an app built for coparenting
Do you have trouble sticking to a schedule? Maybe the other parent isn’t kind when they speak with you. Consider getting a coparenting app that helps with scheduling, communication and other aspects of coparenting. That way, you’ll both have the information you need where you need it as well as a way to communicate that you can rely on.
These are three tips to help you become a better coparent. Coparenting can be hard, especially when your divorce is new, but you will adjust if you put the work in.